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Feline Haiku

No, I did not write these...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!

In deep sleep hear sound.
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then
silence. Me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
returns with gifts of plump birds ---
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Kitty likes plastic.
Confuses for litter box.
Don't leave tarp around...

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner.

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, damn! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst.
Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!

The Big Ones snore now.
Every room is dark and cold.
Time for "Cup Hockey".

Litter box not here.
You must have moved it again.
I'll poop in the sink.

We're almost equals.
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
sorchawench
Mar. 19th, 2001 10:48 pm (UTC)
I own this cat!!!
"You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt."
chgowiz
Mar. 20th, 2001 05:43 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAAH!!! That made my morning! These are SO TRUE!

(Especially the damn 'smell my butt' one.. sheesh... like I want to smell cat ass in the morning.. oh wait.. that's the feed me sign...)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )