Jeanette (art_witch) wrote,

Random giggles

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer
retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen........had to be a girl.

We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around �the world in one night and not get lost.


Greetings Gents, I'm assuming that you suffer from PMS, not directly, but suffer none the less. Lets get right to it...

Q: What can I do to end the havoc created every 28 days?
A: Absolutely nothing.

Q: Will it ever end?
A: Sure, but you'll be so old you won't notice.

Q: Why is it that I'm wrong so much during this awful time?
A: You just are, cope with it. Someone must bear the blame.

Q: Can I just pack up and go out with the boys?
A: Only if you are heavily insured and have a death wish.

Q: What should I do to cope with this?
A: Glad you asked... (take notes)

1. Pamper your woman! Shower her with love and affection.

2. Duck (alot).

3. Let her vent. Remember, she probably doesn't mean it.

4. If #3 does not apply, you deserve every bit of it...
don't whine.

5. Making dinner will lessen the trauma, take note: Burnt biscuits will only add to your pain - Order out

6. Speak only when spoken to - Limit your replies to: "Yes, of course you're right darling" and "those jeans never fit better."

7. Educate yourself on the magic pills your loved one prefers, keeping them on hand is a bonus point for you.

8. Keep small children (and other helpless creatures) out of the path, keep the casualties to a minimum.

9. Gifts and "shiny" tokens of affection are advised, just remember these words: Frederick's, Maceys & Spiegel.

10. Always remember, you are against something way beyond your power... Real men buy necessities at the store!

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